Here I come..

This is the first post of March. I can't even believe it's already March. It seems like yesterday I was sitting at home with Jessie Visher and Fiery Visher watching Misty Edwards bring in the New Year. Time flies when you're not paying attention.

God is so awesome. Saturday night I was talking to Alex about loving God. I said to him, "I know that I love the call more than I love the Caller." It's the truth in my life. I'm more concerned about what God wants me to do rather than loving God and knowing that God loves me for me. While Alex was sleeping, I turned on my sturdy flash light and thought to myself, "Which scriptures talk about love?" I knew that John was the person of love so I began to read 1 John. I read through 2 and 3 John too. I got a lot of good stuff from those chapters and then I fell asleep.

The next morning at church, Mike Bickle, comes up and says, "Everyone open your Bibles to 1 John." I was like.. WHAT!?!? Are you kidding me God? God does that a lot. I'll feel the need to read something and I'll read it and the next sermon I listen to is what I read about. It was totally AWESOME. It was like God was saying to me, "I want you to stay on this for awhile."

1 John talks about how God loves us. We love God because he loved us first. If we love Him we will follow His commandments. It also talks about how we should love our brother and if we don't then we don't truly love God. Then in the Gospel of John, Jesus says to His disciples, "Just as my Father has loved me, I too have loved you; so stay in my love. If you keep my commands, you will stay in my love-- just as I have kept my Father's commands and stay in His love. I have said this to you that My joy may be in you and your joy be complete(15:9-11)." This is so Awesome. It's very straightforward and needs no explanation.

1 John 4:17-18 says, "Here is how love has been brought to maturity with us: as the Messiah is, so are we in the world. This gives us confidence for the Day of Judgment. There is no fear in love. On the contrary, love that has achieved its goal gets rid of fear, because fear has to do with punishment; the person who keeps fearing has not been brought to maturity in regard to love." Then verse 19 says, "We ourselves love now because he loved us first."

I am this person who has fear. I don't know why I have this fear but I do. This fear is of Jesus coming and actually doing something in my life. This is a harsh reality. It makes me think about all the decisions I have made based on the fear within my soul. I have not followed through on a lot of what God asks because of this fear and now God is telling me that my love is immature. This is a scary reality. I've been a Christian all my life but have not grown in maturity, spiritually. I hope to over come that. I need to be confident and know that He loved my first and that's why I can love Him.